Love is a Four Letter Word
by Megatron7
Summary: In her seventh year of schooling, Erin O'Brien was transferred from Salem Witchcraft Academy to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There, she met up with an old friend, Draco Malfoy. She also got to meet The Boy Who Lived.Now, seven years later
1. Erin

**1**

**Erin**

_"Why? Why do you still think I love you? Especially with all of this running around, trying to save the world!"_

_"But, darling, I still love _you_."_

_"You don't love me! You only love adventure."_

_"No, that's not it. Please, dear, sit down. We can work this out."_

_"We can't work this out. We really can't. I suggest you leave this house before it gets too dark."_

_"But where will I go?"_

_"I don't care! Just get out of this house!"_

Erin O'Brien woke with a start. Her heart was pounding and her chest was heaving. She gave a withering glance to the person beside her, a man she'd known since she was a child.

Instead of rolling over and giving the man a small kiss (like she normally would've done), Erin threw back her blanket and tiptoed out of the room, careful not to wake her lover. She padded down the hallway in her bare feet and stepped lightly into the bathroom. Upon turning on the lights, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

The dream had been a regular nightly disturbance as of late, causing Erin to lose much sleep, and it showed in her features. She was tired all of the time, her hair bedraggled, and huge dark circles encompassed her eyes.

"Oh, dear," Erin said softly to herself as she prodded her face. "How am I ever going to look good again? For goodness' sakes, I'm twenty-four years old, going on fifty-five!"

Erin sat down on the toilet and put her head in her hands. Why was the dream haunting her? Why now?

"I know why," she said bitterly. "This engagement has caused the demons from my past to return in my dreams."

Erin looked out the window and thought about the dream. Gosh, it was so long ago—they were only nineteen. Erin threw her lover out of the house due to his startling love for adventure and a taste for a dangerous lifestyle. They were supposed to get married, but Erin couldn't take it anymore.

Oh, why couldn't he have just agreed to settle down? Why couldn't he have decided to live a quiet life with Erin and, hopefully in a few years, children? He chose his lifestyle over Erin, and she was never able to forgive that.

Erin finally rose to her feet. It was almost daylight outside. She turned off the bathroom light and walked back down the hall to her bedroom, where her fiancée was still sleeping soundly. Erin picked up a ridiculously huge diamond ring from her bureau and placed it on her finger. She didn't particularly care for her engagement ring (especially since she didn't care for pretentious things), but her fiancée insisted upon it.

Still, it did look good on her, and it _was_ quite pretty. Erin took the ring off and crawled back into bed, giving her lover a kiss on his shoulder.

_I won't let this dream ruin my life, _she thought firmly. _I will be happy._


	2. Breaking the News

**2**

**Breaking the News**

Hermione Granger was startled awake by a loud "pop!" at the foot of her bed. She poked her head out from under her quilt and wasn't surprised to find a petite young woman with long, curly blonde hair standing before her.

"Bloody hell, Erin, some of us like to sleep in. Some of us don't like to go around, apparating at the foot of other peoples' beds at ungodly hours of the morning."

"It won't go away, Hermione," Erin said, ignoring her. "I don't know what to do. I can't very well tell Draco about it, or he'll have a right bird about it."

Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Are you on about that stupid dream again?"

"Hermione, this isn't just an ordinary dream. These events actually happened."

"Yeah, five years ago."

Erin gave a soft wail. "Yes, I know that. But why is my past haunting me? Why is _he_ haunting me? Ever since I got engaged, all I can think about is what I did to bloody Harry Potter!"

Hermione thought about that for a second. "Maybe you still love him. Maybe that's why you keep having these dreams about him."

"Oh, that can't be it . . . I love Draco-"

"Yes," Hermione interrupted, "you may love Draco, but you probably still love Harry. Or maybe you're feeling guilty because you still haven't told Harry about your engagement."

Erin groaned. "Do I have to?"

"Yes," replied Hermione sharply. "You do. He is your friend, not to mention an ex-boyfriend you dated for quite some time. You almost married _him_. He deserves to know, and he deserves to hear it from you!"

"Oh, fine. I'll tell him this afternoon."

"Good," said Hermione, falling back onto her pillows. "Now leave me alone so I can get another hour or so of sleep."

Erin sat for another moment before disapparating out of Hermione's flat.

Later that afternoon, Erin walked slowly up a hill to get to Harry's flat. It had been a while since she ventured there . . . since, well, that drunken incident a few months ago.

Harry threw open the door of the flat and grabbed Erin in a warm embrace. Erin had forgotten how nice it felt being in his arms, how good he smelled, how soft his hair felt in her hands.

"Come in, come in," Harry said after the two of them broke apart. He led her into a sitting area, and she flopped down on the sofa.

Harry sat down opposite her and smiled. "What's up?"

"Well," Erin began, "I-I'm getting married."

"You're _what_?" Harry asked in disbelief. "To whom? When?"

"To Draco. In a few months."

Harry's eyes widened as he continued to stare at her. Oh, how Erin had remembered how much she loved those eyes, bright green and full of mystery.

"_Malfoy_!" Harry cried. "I can't believe you're marrying that man!"

Erin felt the anger well up within her. "I case you don't remember, Harry, Draco and I have known each other since we were little kids, _and_ we've been dating for quite some time!"

"Erin, don't you even _remember_ Hogwarts? Don't you remember what he was like back then?"

Erin sat back and tried to remember her first year and only year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was her final year of schooling, and she had just been sent to England after six years of training at the Salem Witchcraft Academy in America. Her parents had both been killed, and she was now to live with her grandmother in London.

She remembered seeing Draco at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. How nice it was to see a familiar face. The Malfoys were quite friendly with her grandmother, and when she visited her in London during summer vacations as a child, she'd always been able to have Draco as a friend to play with.

Draco looked paler and thinner than she remembered him from summers previous, but she was grateful when he retained their friendship--which soon grew into a fleeting romance.

It was in the Gryffindor common room Erin met Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. When Erin was not off with Draco, she was often seen with the trio of friends. After Erin and Draco broke up for the first time, Harry became the supposed love of her life.

But that was many years ago. Draco had changed. He was no longer a death eater. In fact, he had renounced his dark ways and helped in the fight against Voldemort after their seventh year.

Erin snapped back into the present time. Harry looked at her expectantly. "I know what he was like at Hogwarts," she said. "But I also know what he was like after Hogwarts. He's a changed man. He's a Healer at St. Mungo's now. And, if I do recall correctly, he helped you find the final horcrux."

Harry felt defeated. He'd never loved another woman since Erin threw him out of their flat five years ago, and all of his hopes of winning her back seemed to be dashed.

"But what about us?" he asked feebly.

"Us? There is no 'us.'" she replied coldly.

Harry briefly looked at Erin and then glanced at the clock. "You'd better get home. Your _fiancée_ is probably wondering where you are."


	3. Ron's Accusation

**3**

**Ron's Accusation**

Erin returned home to an empty house. She'd forgotten Draco would be working late at St. Mungo's. In order to calm her shaking hands, she walked into the kitchen to make some tea.

Suddenly, the kitchen door flew open. Erin let out a scream of surprise as a young man with red hair angrily stormed through the door.

"Ron," Erin gasped, clutching her chest, "normal people knock first."

"How could you do this to Harry?" he snapped. "How?"

"Ron Weasley, you had better not be accusing me of hurting Harry Potter in my own house!"

Ron glared at her. "I'll accuse you of whatever I want, wherever I want."

Erin poured herself and Ron a cup of tea. She slammed Ron's cup in front of him and firmly grasped her own. She couldn't stop trembling.

"Drink some tea," Erin instructed. "And then speak to me in a respectful tone."

Ron angrily sipped his tea. With as much as he disliked Erin right now, he had to admit she'd always made a good cup of tea.

"Harry is really upset," he said after calming down a bit. "He just told me the news."

Erin toyed with the ring on her finger. "Is he?" she asked.

"I haven't seen him this broken up since the time you threw him out of the flat all those years ago," Ron replied. "He misses you. I think he even . . . well, _loves_ you still."

Erin said nothing. Ron took a deep breath and continued to speak, "Do you realize he hasn't been with anyone else in five years? All he can talk about is how much he misses you and the good times you two had."

Erin sat down across from Ron and looked him in the eyes. Ever since Ron got married, the spark they once held had disappeared.

"Ron?" she asked quietly.

"What is it?"

"Are you happy?"

Ron didn't say anything for a long time. Instead, he continued to sip his tea. Finally, he replied, "No."

"What's wrong?"

Ron sighed. "It's Lavender. I know she's not right for me—I've always known. But I married her because I thought she was the only one who would ever love me. But the only girl I can think about is Hermione. She's the only girl I ever think about. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I'd never let her get away."

Erin nodded, but didn't say anything.

"That's why I was so angry when Harry told me about your engagement," Ron continued. "I don't want you to marry Malfoy out of convenience and leave Harry heartbroken, left with no one but the first girl who'll say 'yes.'"

"I'm not marrying Draco out of convenience," Erin commented. "And I'm sorry about Harry's current state. But you must remember that things between Harry Potter and I do not work."

"And why not?" Ron asked.

"He's not happy unless he has something to do. All I ever wanted from him was for him to settle down and perhaps give me a child someday. I wanted us to be a happy family. But that's not what he wanted."

"Erin, that was five years ago. We were still at war with Voldemort. Don't you understand? He _had_ to be the one to destroy Voldemort. The prophecy-"

"Yes, I know all about the damned prophecy," Erin interrupted. "I know Harry had to defeat him. But he's still an Auror. He is still a Dark wizard fighter. And I can't have a life of fear, wondering whether or not my husband will come home alive!"

Once again, the kitchen door opened. "You'll never have to wonder that, dear," came a drawling voice from behind Ron.

"Good. You're home," Erin said blandly.

Draco's grey eyes turned from his fiancée to Ron. "Weasley, what are you doing here?"

Ron looked up at Draco and replied, "I came to talk to my friend. That's all."

Draco leaned very close to Ron and snarled, "You came to talk to her about Harry Potter. But what you two need to understand is that Erin is _my_ fiancée, and _I'm_ the one who is going to spend the rest of _my_ life with her."

Ron got up from his seat. "I'll see you later, Erin." He turned to Draco. "Nice seeing you again, _Malfoy_."

Once Ron had left, Draco poured himself a cup of tea and sat down next to Erin. After a few sips, he turned to her and asked, "What did you do today, dear?"

"Not much, darling," Erin replied. "I visited Hermione for a little while and went for a walk. Nothing special."

"Mmmm," Draco replied, not listening to her.

Erin sighed and got up from her chair. She left the kitchen to go lie down on the sofa in the living room.

Draco walked in shortly after. He sat down on the sofa next to her and stroked her hair. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Draco only called her "sweetheart" when he was truly worried about her. But right now, Erin didn't want to tell him what was up. She wanted to keep it a secret from him.

"Nothing," she replied. "Just tired."

Draco stopped stroking her hair and turned away from her. "It's Potter, isn't it?" he asked harshly.

Erin sat up and looked at the back of Draco's head. "No, it isn't."

Draco turned back to her. "Why are you so tired, my dear?"

"I don't know. Probably all the stress of the wedding," Erin lied.

Draco smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Don't worry, sweetheart. It will all be over in a few months. Then we'll be married, and with my newest promotion, we'll be able to start a family soon after. Would you like that?"

Erin nodded slowly. But, somehow, she didn't think that Draco was the one she should start a family with.

Draco kissed her forehead again and got up. He walked over to his work desk, slipped on a pair of reading glasses, and began thumbing through papers. After a few moments, he stopped, looked over at his beautiful fiancée stretched out on the sofa, and took off his glasses.

"You know you mean more to me than anything else in the world," he told her.

Erin smiled. "I know."

"So, why don't you come over here and distract me from my work?"

Erin rose from the sofa and strode over to Draco's desk. She promptly sat in his lap.

"Is this enough of a distraction?" she asked him.

He put his hands around her waist and kissed her deeply. Once he pulled away, he said, "No, but you could be a much better distraction upstairs . . ."


	4. Coming to Conclusions

**4**

**Coming to Conclusions**

"_Erin, I need to talk to you."_

_Erin looked at Harry and smiled. "About what, darling?"_

"_I wanted to know if you'll . . . marry me . . ."_

_As quickly as it came, the smile left Erin's face. "Harry, you know I can't."_

_Harry took her hand in his. "Why not?" he pleaded._

"_It's because of this war. Once Voldemort is defeated, once this war is over, I'll marry you. But until I know you're safe, you know I can't."_

Harry replayed this memory many times over the past few years.

"'_Once this war is over, I'll marry you_,'" he said aloud.

It was too late anyway. A few weeks after that conversation, she'd thrown him out of the flat. He spent too much time away from home, she'd said. She was awake many nights worrying, she'd said. She had shed too many tears over him, she'd said.

It was while Harry was looking for the sixth horcrux with Malfoy Erin had decided it was time for him to go. Harry was so close to beating Voldemort, so close to marrying the girl of his dreams . . .

_Erin woke with a start. Harry was standing over her, a wide grin spread across his face._

"_Hello, darling," Harry greeted her._

"_Hello," Erin mumbled. "I'm glad you're home."_

"_I'm sorry I'd been away for so long."_

_Erin sat up and set her bright blue eyes on his. "It's been three months."_

_Harry put his arm around her shoulders. "I know. But I'm so close to finding it. This will all be over soon."_

"_No, Harry. This will never be over. Even if you manage to destroy Voldemort, you're still an Auror. You still have a dangerous job. And I'll still lie awake at night wondering if you're ever going to come home."_

"That's it!" Harry cried, suddenly jerked back into reality.

"Draco, there's some dinner on the counter for you," Erin instructed her fiancée after he came home from work. "How was your day?"

Draco grabbed the plate of food Erin left him and sat down at the kitchen table next to her. "Long," he replied, sounding very tired.

Erin nodded absently and continued reading the newspaper in front of her.

"But," Draco continued, "I brought you a present."

Erin took her eyes off the paper long enough to ask, "What is it?"

Draco handed his fiancée with a small, thin box. "Open it."

Slowly, Erin tore the paper away from the box and opened it. Inside was a long, satin purple nightgown.

"I ordered it for you ages ago," Draco said. "I finally got it in from the South of France. Put it on."

Erin was eyeing the nightgown with a mixed expression on her face. She loved it that Draco gave her thoughtful gifts, but he also knew she didn't like fancy things.

"Sweetie," she began.

Draco stopped eating and looked up at her expectantly. "Yes?"

"You know I'm perfectly happy wearing your old pajamas."

Draco smiled. "I know that, darling. But I wanted you to have something nice."

"But I _like_ wearing your old pajamas."

Draco's smile turned into a naughty smirk. "And I like it when you're _not_ wearing my old pajamas. In fact, I like it when you're not wearing anything at all."

Erin got up from her seat and smiled at Draco. "I love you," she said before giving him a kiss on the cheek and exiting the room.

Draco promptly rose and followed her. "Sweetheart, what's the matter?"

Erin settled into the sofa and sighed. "I don't know," she replied. I think it's just pre-wedding jitters."

Draco sat down next to her and held her close to him. "Don't be afraid, sweetheart. Don't be afraid. Like I've said a thousand times before, this will all be over soon. Soon we'll be married, and you can be 'Mrs. Erin Malfoy.'"

"Oh, Draco, you know I love you."

"And I you," Draco replied earnestly.

"But . . . oh, I don't know . . ."

"What?"

Erin looked him in the eyes. "It's the nightgown."

Draco looked surprised. "You don't like it?"

Erin shook her head violently. "No, you misunderstand me. I love it, but you know how I feel about such pretension. We've known each other for nearly twenty years, and you still don't know how much I hate fancy things."

"What is it you want, darling? Do you want a smaller engagement ring? Would you like a smaller, more private wedding? Would you like to move out of this house and into a flat? Would you be happy then? All I want is to make you happy, sweetheart, and I thought I was doing everything perfectly."

"Oh, honey, you are. I'm very happy with you. I'm just rather _uncomfortable_ with some of the things you've bought me. If we didn't have anything, I'd still be happy—because I'd be with you."

And then, Draco did something Erin would never have expected him to do. He began to cry.

"I love you so much," he said shakily. "And I'm sorry about making you feel so uncomfortable. I just don't want to lose you."

Erin smiled her first genuine smile in days. "I don't want to lose you either." She thought for a moment. "Look, why don't we go upstairs? I can put on a pair of your old pajamas, and you can have fun taking them off me."

Draco wiped his face and replied, "I think I'd like that."


End file.
